One day a little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver.
He starts saying things like: “If my Mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I would be a little rooster,” the bus driver told him to quiet down!
Still the boy went on … “If my Mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I would be a little male elephant,” the bus driver getting annoyed told the boy to shut up!
Still the boy went on … “If my Mom was a female dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a little male dog.”The bus driver finally mad, asked him: “If your Mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a homo, what would you be?”
The boy answered: “A school bus driver!”

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

How to determine a REAL snowmobiler:
If I could ride my wife like I can ride my sled then i’d be home every weekend.
Cats have nine lives you have one make it count.
Go BIG or go home.
She said if I go riding one more time she’s going to leave me. I’m really gonna miss her.
Ride it like it’s stolen
If you cant ride with the BIG BOYS leave em on the trailer
Work…..is for people who don’t ride!
If you can’t handle the ride stay on the side!
The best part of growing up…. is getting a faster sled
If I have to explain….you won’t understand
Get up and go!
When HELL freezes over we’ll ride there too.
My Dad’s sled is faster that your daddy’s sled
The bars are the only place to buy gas.
The ice is plenty thick.
I can read a trail map.
it’s only a couple more miles.
It’s not cold.
I love my spouse more than my snowmobile.
We have enough gas to make it.
I can fix it.
I know a short cut…

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road.
Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.
Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”
Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”
Still, Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
“Okay, Benny, pull.”
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.

Q: What is the average sharks favorite movie
A: The Shaw-Shark Redemption