A Donkey meets a Trabant coming down the road.
“Hello Car” says the donkey “How are you?”
“I’m fine ” says the Trabant “How are you Donkey?”
Don’t be so rude” says the Donkey “I called you Car, at least you could call me Horse”

There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

When pulling into a parking spot, if there is a shopping cart in the way, lightly tap it with your bumper and send it rolling into an adjacent car. Then, when you step out, if the cart is still too close, push it down the parking lot aisle and let it go. While the cart is flying solo, turn around and walk toward the stores.

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a small mini also drives up. The haughty businessman into he back of the limousine started bragging to the mini owner.
“This is the best limo that money can buy. It has ABS, airbags for all passengers, automatic climate control, onboard computer control system, photo chromatic glass, mini bar, a television with satellite dish embedded in the roof, blah blah blah…”
At this point the mini owner interrupted.
“But do you have a video in there?”
The light changed just then, and the limo driver pulled off. The businessman in back felt a bit down that he didn’t have this simple item, and that very day had one installed in the limo.
A few days passed, and again the limo was at a traffic light when the businessman spotted the mini. It was pulled over to a side, with the glass all steamed up, and steam coming from a half open window. Upon seeing this, the businessman got out of his car and knocked on the window of the mini. After a few moments, the mini owner poked his head out.
“I installed a VCR in my limo,” said the businessman proudly.
“What!?!’ the mini-man responded. “You got me out of the shower for THAT?”

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.  He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road.
Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.
Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”
Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”
Still, Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
“Okay, Benny, pull.”
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.

The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon’s office. “You know, Doc,” he said, “I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand.”
“And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions,” the medic said.
“Heck, no,” the old fellow replied. “I want to borrow your Lamborghini!”