A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car stalled inexplicably. He got out and raised the hood to see if he could find out what had happened. A brown and white cow slowly lumbered from the field she had been grazing in over to the car and stuck her head under the hood beside the man. After a moment the cow looked at the man and said, “Looks like a bad carbuerator to me.” Then she walked back into the field and began grazing again.
Amazed, the man walked back to the farmhouse he had just passed, where he met a farmer. “Hey, mister, is that your cow in the field?” he asked. The farmer replied, “The brown and white one? Yep, that’s old Bessie.” The man then said, “Well my car’s broken down, and she just said, ‘Looks like a bad carbuerator to me.’” The farmer shook his head and said, “Don’t mind old Bessie, son. She don’t know a thing about cars.”

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. Can you give me a room and bath? he asked the clerk.I can give you a room, the clerk said. But youll have to take the bath by yourself!

A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road.
Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a
lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. At the last second,
he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn’t run over the lawyer, so he swerved,
but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn’t see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. “I’m sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at
the side of the road.”
But the priest said, “Don’t worry, son. I got him with my door.”

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

In Eisenach (home of the IFA Wartburg car factory) they heard about how the Japanese test a car. They put a cat in the car, and if after three days the cat is dead, the parts are judged to be close fitting. Not wanting to be second in anything, the people in Eisenach decided to test the Wartburg in a similar fashion. If after three days the cat is still in the car, the parts are judged to be close fitting.

this one is for girls…

…and this one is for boys

Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In the swimming pool.”

I’m not sure about that…