As a gangster was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering his phone he heard his friend’s  voice urgently warning him, ”Frank, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on route 290. Please be extra careful!”

“Hell, It’s not just one car.  It’s hundreds of them !!!”

One lab mouse to another: I’ve trained that crazy human at last. How have you done that? I don’t know how, but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.

A Donkey meets a Trabant coming down the road.
“Hello Car” says the donkey “How are you?”
“I’m fine ” says the Trabant “How are you Donkey?”
Don’t be so rude” says the Donkey “I called you Car, at least you could call me Horse”

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road.
Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.
Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”
Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”
Still, Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”
Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,
“Okay, Benny, pull.”
Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know “Who’s the strongest in here?”

The toughest guy looks at him and says “I am the strongest around here!”

The other guy politely asks “Can you help me push my car to the gas station?”

Q. How do you double the value of a Trabant?
A. Fill up the tank!